estimated read time - 19 min
estimated read time - 19 min
“I’m not good enough.”, “I always mess things up.”, "Things will never get better."
Do these phrases sound familiar? Have they ever echoed in your mind during tough moments? IF so,
You Are Not Alone.
Many of us hear these voices on repeat, especially when we’re feeling vulnerable or stressed. But have you ever stopped to wonder why they keep showing up? What keeps them playing like a broken record in your head?
These are what we call "negative voices." They’re like inner critics or saboteurs, always ready to point out our flaws, doubts, and fears. These voices often emerge during times of uncertainty, trying to convince us that we’re not capable, not worthy, or that things will never improve. They can take over our thoughts, steering us into a spiral of self-doubt and anxiety, making us feel stuck in a loop of “what-ifs” and of course, worst-case scenarios.
But here’s the thing -these voices do not have to control us.
They might seem loud and convincing, but we have the power to silence them and reclaim our peace of mind. In this post, we’re going to explore how we can win back control from these negative voices, challenge their grip on our thoughts, and shift towards a healthier, more empowered mindset.
What you will read here is cutting edge technology in the research fields of mental health, psychology and neuroscience. All compiled and researched thanks to our own teams innate curiosity of the human mind, and hopes to move humanity forward. Let’s dive in and learn how.
Woman Whispering to Other Woman
Negative voices tend to creep into our minds because, in many ways, our brains are wired for survival. They’re constantly scanning for potential dangers, even when there isn't an immediate threat. These voices, which often manifest as self-criticism, doubt, or worry, are typically rooted in our past experiences, societal pressures, or fears of failure. The environment around us also plays a crucial role in adding up to these voices. Sometimes, they’re triggered by stress, anxiety, or overwhelming situations. It’s as though the mind is trying to protect us from making mistakes or getting hurt, but in the process, it’s only making us feel more stuck, unworthy, or anxious.
Evolutionary psychologist Alfred North Whitehead explained this evolved style of thinking best when he stated
“The purpose of thinking is to let the ideas die instead of us dying”
And what he meant by that was that we were designed to see into the future and understand scenarios that COULD happen, so we are better prepared and have a better chance at survival.
Woman Doing a Live Stream in Front of the Mirror
Dealing with these negative voices can be a real challenge, but there are a few things that might really help to manage them effectively.
To confront these voices, you must first acknowledge they exist and understand why they show up. It's natural and a safety mechanism. Don’t try to suppress them, as they will only come back stronger. Instead, engage with them by saying, 'I hear you, but I don’t have to follow what you say.' It may seem simple, but admitting these thoughts exist diminishes their power. It's not about agreeing with the negative voices or letting them take control, it’s about you reclaiming control over them.
The negative voices in our head often stem from self-judgment, where we criticize ourselves harshly for mistakes, failures, or shortcomings. Practicing self-compassion helps counter this by encouraging a more forgiving and understanding attitude. Even the highest achievers we look up to all failed in many ways and made terrible mistakes in their lives. Mistakes and failures are just a part of the human experience. Keeping this top of mind gives us permission to not be too hard on ourselves.
Instead of tearing yourself down, begin to treat yourself with the same understanding and care you would offer to someone you love. When you stop beating yourself up, you may start to realize that most of those negative thoughts aren’t even true. And instead of fixating on your flaws and failures, focus on your strength and what you’ve learned from your experiences.
The good thing about being able to acknowledge these negative voices is that we have the power to shift them. We may shift these negative voices into more balanced and constructive thinking. Pay attention to what these negative voices are saying. Does it sound like “I’m not good enough”, or “I always mess up.” Ask yourself, are these true? Often, you’ll find that these thoughts are just exaggerations and are mostly based on fear rather than facts.
When negative voices arise, make an effort to reframe them into more realistic and supportive thoughts. Instead of saying, 'I’m not good at this,' try, 'This is challenging, but I’m learning and improving each time.' Turn 'What if's' into 'So what.' For example, change 'What if I fail?' to 'So what if I fail?' I may fail, but I'll learn from it and keep moving forward.” It might feel difficult at first, but with practice, it becomes easier and more natural.
The environment around us plays a significant role in shaping our thoughts and beliefs. When you’re exposed to an environment that is toxic, such as relationships, news, or pessimistic social media content, these can reinforce the negative voices in your head. These external sources often echo the same messages your inner critic feeds you, making it harder to break the cycle.
Limiting exposure to these influences may help stop feeding your mind with more negativity. This will also allow you to intentionally surround yourself with positivity. Whether it’s uplifting people, encouraging environments, or inspiring media, positive influences counteract the negative voices and provide a healthier internal dialogue. You may listen to inspiring podcasts or music that’ll help you feel at ease. This way, you’ll be able to create a supportive atmosphere which may encourage your growth and self-compassion.
Notice when you compare yourself to others, you only see the best part of their lives? Whether it’s in social media or someone at work, you only see their achievements, appearance, or success. This creates unrealistic standards, making you feel like you’re falling short and might end up focusing on the areas you think you don’t measure up, which can cause more insecurities. The negative voices will say “I’ll never be as pretty as her” or “I’ll never be as successful as him.”
Make the decision to only compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
It’s time to stop that voice and focus more on your own journey. Remember that your journey is as valid and that success looks different for everyone. Don’t spend too much time on social media, oftentimes you only see the best parts of people’s lives which may create an illusion of perfection. Instead, shift your focus to what you’ve accomplished. And always celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
Perfectionists often set unrealistic standards for themselves, which leads to constant disappointment and the belief that they’re never good enough. This makes the negative self-talk louder in your head.
When you let go of the idea of being perfect, you create space for more self-compassion, flexibility, and growth, which may help quiet those negative voices. It’s about embracing progress over perfection and realizing that you are enough just as you are. Let go of the idea that everything needs to be perfect, because as cliche as it may sound, nobody is perfect. Instead focus on your growth and improvement. Mistakes and failures are opportunities to learn, not signs of inadequacy.
This technique may help you become more aware of the negative voices and may help consciously stop it before it consumes you. Pay attention to when the negative voices start to emerge. You may notice specific triggers; certain situations, people, or feelings that prompt negative self-talk. The sooner you recognize these thoughts, the easier it will be to interrupt them.
Select a signal that you can use whenever you start hearing these voices. A simple command like “Stop!” or “No!” or a phrase that might disrupt your thoughts, such as “Not today” or “That’s enough” could work. You may also use physical gestures like snapping your fingers, clenching your fist, or tapping your leg. The key is to choose something that feels powerful and easy to recall for you. These signals give you a moment to pause and regain control, and may allow you the opportunity to replace negative thoughts with more constructive and empowering ones.
It’s kinda awful how much time our minds spend either in the past, rehashing mistakes, or in the future, worrying about things that haven’t happened yet. Those are the moments when negative thoughts grow the loudest, they thrive on regret and fear. When you're caught up in negative self-talk, it can feel like you're stuck in a loop of critical or harmful thoughts. Staying grounded in the present may help shift your focus away from the thoughts that fuels these negative voices.
Bring your attention to what's actually happening, rather than letting your mind create worst-case scenarios. This reality check may help diminish the power of the negative voices. The best part is, the present is manageable and it’s where you have control. We can’t go back to the past and we don’t know what will happen in the future, but here in the present you can breathe, act and make decisions that may help you move forward.
The absolute best way to do this? Go out and help others. Be a servant to your comunity. Volunteer for a homeless shelter or join a beach cleanup. The action of giving back is powerful for mental change
If you’re struggling with persistent negative thoughts, constant fatigue, or feeling hopeless, it may be worth considering something other than emotional burnout or clinical depression.
There have been numerous cases where people, feeling consumed by negativity, fatigue, and even hopelessness, later discovered that their symptoms were tied to an underlying health issue—something as unexpected as a bacterial infection. Infections like Lyme disease, for example, or even gut imbalances, can profoundly impact your mood, energy levels, and mental clarity. These conditions can disrupt your body’s chemistry in ways that mimic or even exacerbate depression, anxiety, and chronic exhaustion.
One of our team members recently experienced a severe bout of what seemed like an acute mental illness. While it normally would've been brushed off as stress or a depressive episode, he mentioned how he could not think of a single life event that would've triggered it. He experienced struggling to get out of bed, constant sadness, overwhelming fatigue, suicidal thoughts and a cloud of negativity—only to find out after speaking with a couple doctors that it was caused by an ear bacterial infection. After starting a course of antibiotics, his energy and positive outlook returned immediately to pre-infection levels.
While we’re not fans of antibiotics due to their impact on gut health, there are times when they’re necessary to restore balance. If you’re feeling stuck in a cycle of exhaustion and sadness, a simple check-up could reveal an underlying issue you can easily treat. Don’t dismiss these signals; sometimes, the body and mind are more connected than we realize.
Aside- We would recommend assuring the doctor you believe it may be physical. Our team member actually debated with his doctors, refusing a number of psychological testings for prescriptions to antidepressents and anxiety medications, before he was given the option for a course of antibiotics. This little infection could've taken a very wrong turn if he wasn't so adament about his patient rights. Pretty scary.
The human brain is wired to focus on potential threats and dangers as a survival mechanism.
The quote by Alfred Whitehead' said earlier, "The purpose of thinking is to let the ideas die instead of us dying," highlights that we often anticipate negative outcomes in order to avoid harm. Again this instinct has been useful for our survival throughout history, which allows us to prepare for worst-case scenarios and make decisions that keep us safe. However, in these modern times, constantly focusing on what could go wrong may become counterproductive.
Obsessing over negative possibilities may lead to anxiety, stress, and mental exhaustion. When we continuously focus on worst-case scenarios, it may cloud our judgment and prevent us from seeing positive opportunities or solutions in front of us. This is where the concept of asking "higher quality questions" comes into play.
The quality of the questions we ask ourselves directly impacts the quality of our thoughts and, consequently, the quality of our lives.
So, what are higher quality questions? These are questions that challenge your default way of thinking, helping you gain perspective, and move you towards more optimistic and creative solutions. Some of these questions may seem strange or counterintuitive at first, but they can completely shift your mindset once you allow yourself to engage with them deeply.
"What did I learn from this experience, and how can I apply it in the future?" "
What is the silver lining in this situation that I haven’t considered yet?"
"What can I be grateful for right now, even in the midst of this challenge?"
These are just some examples of higher quality questions. By asking these questions and searching for the answers, your brain will begin to change to a higher vibration and shift your reality to a higher state.
Silencing the negative voices in our head is not about eliminating them entirely, but learning to manage and rise above them. These voices often stem from fears, past experiences, or insecurities, but they don’t define who we are. By acknowledging their presence, challenging their validity, and replacing them with more compassionate, empowering thoughts, we can take back control. It's a journey of self-awareness, self-compassion, and patience. Over time, as we practice quieting those inner critics, we can create more mental space for positivity, confidence, and peace to thrive. We urge you to adopt 1-2 of these recommendations and try them our for 30 days. Do not try to implement them all at once as it can lead to overwhelm and make it less likely you'll follow through. Be patient with yourself and just adopt 1-2 of them, you can always do more later. The power to transform our inner dialogue is within us—it just takes commitment and kindness toward ourselves.
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