The Unintegrated Self: The Tragedy of Uʻi and Lolena

At its core, uʻi represents the divine spark within you, your unique gifts, your mana. In Hawaiian culture, this is a sacred endowment, tied to kuleana, the responsibility to cultivate what the divine have given you. But lolena (laziness), is the refusal to act on this gift. A failure to integrate your potential with your actions. This is the refusal to take up the burden of meaning in life and to avoid the heroic journey of inevitably confronting evil in this upward path of reaching your highest potential and impact. It’s the individual who could be a force for good, for creation, but instead chooses comfort, distraction, or apathy (or worse, nihilism). This quote is saying to you, “you’ve got the potential to rectify the perils of human suffering in this world, but you’re lounging in the village square, scrolling through your phone, letting your gifts rot.”

In my early twenties, I had a vision of building a school fundraising charity, after watching my mother, who was a first grade teacher struggle every year through the horrors of her school not having enough funding to buy simple supplies for all of their kids. This frustration selfishly was exacerbated when extra funds that could’ve bought me taco bell, was used to buy kids pencils and notepads. After graduating college I had the energy, the enthusiasm, the passion, the uʻi. But I let lolena take hold. I was distracted by girlfriends, television shows, junk food, and alcohol. I delayed for years. The kiʻona was my cluttered mind, filled with excuses, weekends at the brewery, and low-quality influences. This is what uʻi and lolena suggest together, that your dreams are a burden you’re obligated to carry, and failing to take action leaves you in a life of mediocrity. There’s nothing wrong with living a normal day to day existence, but often it is a pathetic excuse for what you could have been or the impact you could have made if you took actions on the things that actually scared you.

The Victim Mindset: Constructing Your Own Kiʻona

The kiʻona, the dung hill, is a pretty terrifying metaphor. It’s not just external waste (which is toxic relationships, mindless consumption) but the internal trash that exists in your psyche of missed opportunities and self-imposed nihilism. This is why using the word ‘kū’ is so critical. Because it is your choice to stand there. In modern society, the victim mindset is a pathological “mind virus,” convincing us that our stagnation is somehow someone else’s fault. We blame society, circumstances, bad luck, or simply point out how others were graced with better opportunities than we had. But our ancestors knew the kiʻona is self-inflicted, it’s built from the habits and choices you are allowing to define yourself.

Consider the cultural parallel in the Hawaiian value of pono, which demands alignment with righteousness and responsibility. When you embrace victimhood, you reject pono, choosing instead to surround yourself with the cultural equivalent of a dung hill; gossip, negativity, subreddits of people complaining about their circumstances, endless distractions or worse, seeking vengeance on people who’s successes in life shine light on the darkness of your own inadequacies. On your own missing of the mark. And this is exactly what people do not want to hear or acknowledge.

It is when we do this (because I do this too) we must remember, your unacknowledged weakness, laziness, fear, self-doubt, that you are projecting onto the other person to make them the villain is baseless. Because if someone’s risen above you, achieved something you haven’t, the real target of your anger isn’t them, it should be you. This is what Carl Jung calls projection: you casting your own inadequacies onto them, making their success a personal affront. It’s a dark, slippery slope that leads nowhere but down

And remember, Kū i kiʻona implies that you’re not just a victim of circumstances being done to you, you’re an architect of your own decay. And the terrifying truth is you may not even see it, because you are blinded by the comfort of blaming others or worse, being soothed by the crab in bucket mentality of close “friends” saying “You’re right, it’s not your fault. You are perfect just as you are.”

Instead of envying the one who’s risen, maybe we can ask ourselves what they did, what they REALLY did to get there. Maybe they were forced to face hard choices you wouldn’t dare make, maybe they sacrificed everything they loved to make it happen, maybe they’re carrying a weight you can’t see. And maybe, just maybe, their success is actually a beautiful mirror showing you what’s possible if you stop whining and start acting. Again I’m saying this more for myself than anyone else.

Social media, for instance, can be a modern kiʻona, where hours can vanish into pointless dopamine surging reels and rants, pulling the vitality from your life and eroding your mana. Hanging around people who are okay with you failing or refusing to step up to your potential at also a type of ki’ona

You will actually see this a lot when you make the decision to aim up and take the first steps to become the best version of yourself. When you start to exercise regularly, cut bing drinking, start creating things and putting your gifts out into the world, People will claw at you and tell you “you’re doing too much”, “you should relax”. What is really happening is you start to become the ideal, and they begin to feel judged, because your aiming up begins to cast a light on all the shadows of their inadequacies.

And as a word of advice. If-and-when you experience this, these people are NOT your friends, and continuing to be friends with them may not even be good for them either. It’s better to focus on your own growth, conserve your energy, and build your strength so you have more than enough to bring your light into the world. It is their choice to then either follow your example, or crawl back into their buckets and play the victim.

The Heroic Path: Moving Beyond the Kiʻona

In Hawaiian culture, kuleana is a duty, but moreso a sacred trust to contribute to the world. The higher road is choosing to act, to challenge yourself, to cultivate your gifts, and to align with pono. This resonates with the concept of the hero’s journey, where the call to adventure demands leaving the comfort of the known. This is the Abrahamic story in the Bible, where he left the comfort of his fathers home to endure great challenges, famine, in order to be a father of nations. This is the story of Buddha, a privileged prince, who he left his lush walled gardens to confront the universal experiences of suffering and impermanence.

This is also the underlying message of the disney classic Sleeping Beauty, Where the King and Queen attempt to create a world for their daughter, princess Aurora, shielding her from all harm and void of any danger or suffering. This overprotection leaves Aurora naive and unprepared for life’s inevitable challenges. It’s because of her severe naievete, that pricking of her finger on the spinning wheel, then going into a deep sleep symbolizes her retreat into unconsciousness and internal escapes from the overwhelming experience of adulthood. Only an act of true love will awaken her to the beauty and suffering of the real world.

To live the wisdom of He uʻi lolena kū i kiʻona. Here are some actionable steps, to integrate your uʻi and embrace pono:

Claim Your Uʻi: List three gifts you possess. These can be your makana (sacred endowment or talent) or your kālena (skill). Maybe you’re a natural storyteller or a problem-solver. Recognize these as your mana.. Then, pick one gift and commit to using it everyday, even for 10 minutes, like drafting a story or solving a small problem. Do this for ten days, then move onto your next gift.

Name Your Lolena: Identify where you’re stagnant. Are you scrolling endlessly, avoiding a hard conversation, or delaying a goal? Journal for 10 minutes about one area of lolena. For example, I realized I was wasting time cooking instead of writing. Once I simplified most of my meals to just 3 or 4 ingredients, I spent less time cooking, less time eating, and more time being productive. Once you recognize a true area of waste, take one small action to break this cycle.

Clear the Kiʻona: Remove one toxic influence from your life; negative friends, mindless social media, anxiety inducing news, or self-doubt. Demand a clean environment for the health of your soul. For instance, unfollow accounts that fuel comparison or spark outrage, and replace them with inspiring podcasts or comedy. Act this week to curate your surroundings for growth.

Live Pono: Align your actions with a higher purpose. How can your uʻi serve others? Volunteer, mentor, create something meaningfu.. Pono is contribution. For example, use your organizational skills to plan a community event. Start now, with intention, to make a difference.